24th of JUNE
This "E" arrived a few days ago. May make you think about your next "cat-fish" meal - Too smart for food maybe?
A TRUE Fish Story
This was a pretty interesting story from The Sunday Wichita Eagle Newspaper a couple of weeks ago. A resident in the area saw a ball bouncing around kind of strange in a nearby pond and went to investigate. It turned out to be a flathead catfish who had obviously tried to swallow a child's basketball which became stuck in its mouth!!
The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive, but unable to because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface. The resident tried numerous times to get the ball out, but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry catfish.
You probably wouldn't have believed this, if you hadn't seen the following pictures...
Click Photos to Enlarge
18th of May
This "E" came from D.C. a few weeks ago.
Good way to think of "chain mail!"
31 March 2005
THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running
to me."
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
22 March 2005 Today's E-Mail
You are no longer "cool" when. . .
You find yourself listening to talk radio.
You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.
The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.
Your wife buys a flannel nighty and you find that sexy.
You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.
You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Pink Floyd and Black Sabbath.
You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining in.
You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.
When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
When jogging is something you do to your memory.
Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair.
Sex becomes: "All that foolishness."
Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
All the cars behind you flash their headlights.
You remember the "Rolling Stones" as a rock group not a corporation.
You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son's new running shoes.
You actually ASK for your father's advice.
You don't know how to operate a fax machine.
When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
18 March 2005 Today's E-Mail
STRESS MANAGEMENT
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it." "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. I! f we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."
"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"
Some ways of dealing with the burdens of life...
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
16 March 2005 Today's E-Mail
Three Parrots down the chute...
Just wait & watch
28 February 2005 Better Than Average E-Mail
An E-Mail Photo Dedication - 67 wonderous pictures Click Photo: Use Arrows - Will Travel Check-Out at least 4 or 5 you'll be hooked!
MORE FROM E-MAIL
Wouldn't you know it, I lost the E-Mail?! The explanation was much clearer - the words were better. BUT, I still have the amazing pictures - and these pictures are too special to ignore.
This series of pictures is the results of Decoy Flares fired to change the path of heat seeking missiles. Pictures we'd never see on land. Pictures that can only be taken at sea.
VIDEO OF THE "ANGEL DECOY" EFFECT FROM A RIEHL MENTOR
ANGEL DECOYS
24 February 2005 - TODAY'S E-Mail
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN Starting next month
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration.
HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step with slide presentation.
TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion.
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR.
Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among panel of experts.
LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline and support groups.
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
PowerPoint presentation.
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonial from the one man who did.
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.
LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Role playing.
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.
GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME.
Individual counselors available.
WHISKEY WILL BE SERVED!!!!
23 February 2005 - TODAY'S E-Mail
You Might Be A Redneck . . .
if it never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation,
under God. . ."
you've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in
public places.
you still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
you bow your head when someone prays.
you stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the
National Anthem.
you treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
you've never burned an American flag.
you know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter
who is listening.
you respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
you'd give your last dollar to a friend.
We have enjoyed the "redneck" jokes for years. It's time to take a
reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home,
family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists
who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back
me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are
made of.
21 February 2005 - An E-Mail
Not many people know that Edison was an avid fisherman. He usually included some trout fishing in his infrequent vacations.
During one such trip to the West he was befriended by an Indian tribe. They provided free room and board, as well as expert fishing guides for his stay.
On his first night he discovered that the only sanitary facility was an old-fashioned outhouse. To make things worse it had no light even though the village had electricity in the homes.
As a thank-you gift for their kindnesses, Edison purchased the necessary materials and personally installed lighting in the Indians privy.
He thus became the first person to wire a head for a reservation.
